Parenting Advice for Parrents of Mentally Ill Children (as well ausstic children) From the experience of someone who had controlling/Abusive Parents growing up who didn’t handle my several Digoniss

(This advice Collom is informed by my own parrents absuse/failuire to raise me, and a traumatic motivated perspective but that doesn’t mean its not legemimite or good advice, in fact wanting future parrents to be better then mine were because I have a vested instrest in Kids and parrents having the knowledge and information so they can have a better childhood then I had, is a good thing, desgstimize motivated reasoning, being unbiased can be good but it isnt always)  

                                                Advice:

How to be a Good Parent when raising Neurodiverse/Mentally Ill Kiddos.

PART ONE: Pre Birth 

First of all, if you’re not prepared to handle a mentally ill child, or a Neurodiverse child, just don't have children. Best Advice I can give you, this will save you years of fucking up a poor incocent vururnrble child’s life and either have them kill themeself due to your abuse, or live long enough to cut you off and never trust you or talk to you again. 

If you actually want to be a parrent, Assuming you’ve already deciding to have children and you’ve made up your mind—-Weather your a single parrent, gay, or straight couple or thrupple /Polycule, Pregnet trans or nonbinary person, weather your young or old parrents, weather you have the sopport both emotional and fincail of extended family, parrents and grandparents, nahbbors and freinds who want to help raise and be in the child’s life. It’s true it takes a village to raise a child well, so one can only hope you aren’t forced to do it on your own.

If you’ve already made the decion to have children, (in a time when its more unpopular and controvseral then ever to do so) You should also make sure you have the following life curmstances worked out: Sorry hot take just having random kids when your life is a mess and unstable is a recipiee for disaster you need to get to a certain level of stability and safety in your life before having kids is even close to being a good idea. Remember you are choosing to raise a small verbale person in a big dangerous world. I get not everyone chooses when they have kids, but Im not talking to teen moms, or pepole who get pregnant after a one night stand and choose to keep it. Im talking about families who have decided they are going to have children but are not pregnant yet, — nor have they started the fostering or adoption process, paying the surrogate, or whichever method your bringing the child into your life. 

The decision is made but I would advise any prospective parents make the following adjustments to their life before bringing a child into it. (Weather your child is disabled or not)

                1. Move to an area with good schools. So kid can have a chance at positive future, with more opunrtnties, and a better chance at getting into a good college —(Though I would advise NOT to pressure the kid to do these things, do not pressure them to be perfect, get perfect grades make it clear to them if they ever wanted a different path you would sopport them, and they have other options-very important ) 

                2. Have a job, side hussels (support through grovment aid/ grants/foundation/collect charity from various ognrzations)  Get as much money in as much ways as possible —and if your job/join incomes makes enough to sopport your child you need to try to get a promotion, a raise, —-You need to make sure you have enough free time 

            3. Go to therapy. If you aren’t already, GO TO THEARPY!!!! You’ll definitely need thearpy once you have a kid, especially a disabled one.

        4. Move into a house, or apartment wehre the Baby will have its own room, to be their future bedroom will save time and money in the future, if you keep the crib in a room large enough to be their future bedroom. You don't have to break the bank, you can get a cheap crib at Ikea or used on EBAY, or Temu. But make sure 

        5. Put away an investment fund for your Kid, with at least $400,000, Possibly more if you can manage it. Not a college fund, but a fund for when they turn 18 to live off, invest some money for them in their own investment account they can acesss when their older, (like so it grows overtime via interest) so when their an adult they can have some money to get started in life, you can enegrouge them to buy on an apartment of their own, after or during college. 

        6. Find a good pediatrician —And a good daycare /preschool service. Try asking all your relieves and freinds if they can babysit when you’re at work, possibly even a daycare for dislabed Kids, you’ll need to find a daycare that will acomdmate your child’s needs. Don’t just send them to any old daycare you want your kid to be safe and have theri needs, like reading skills, behavioral struggles to be invested in at an early age.

        7. Buy your kid lots of books, Leapfrog or kittie iPad or DS,/Nenetdo switch make sure to not get them an IPad till their at least in 1st grade, dont make your kid an iPad kid, before you can teach them internet safety. I didn’t have a phone till way too late, my parrents didn’t trust me, but you should give them a phone I’d say at the start of elementary school —- as a show of trust teach them how to use it, and the dos and donuts of the internet. Make sure you buy them sports, arts and crafts and a wide validity of activities that are not purely online to find out what your child likes, let them tell you what they like give them as many options as possible to best figure that out.

        6. Read some books on parenting (especially if your child is disabled if its metal illness or austsim you wont know for sure till theier a bit older, its a condition like CFS, chronic illness or blood derisive god forbid something serious you find out about pre birth, you will have some time to buy the qutiment apply for benefits, and perfchse all the medication neeeded to manage their physical condition. If it turns out they have austsim, or any mental illness (Many of witch it’s difficult to be digasonied with at a young age) I would recommend 

        7. Find community of other parrents of dislabed kids. But be carful some of these groups are just abusive abalsit parrents who hate theri kids in yes men eneblbling circl jerks or conservative Christian TERF vibes, parrents who think their trans kids being trans a is a dislsbity they can cry victim about their child being theri own person and not willing to live under their parrents tyrannical control and abuse. Seriously when finding these groups so you can have community sopport and vital information and reasorces, make sure you vent the group, make sure they have kosher politics and genuine inetentions.

        8.  make sure to unpack a lot of these problematic outdated ideas about parenting. Sure you will have to have some level of decline to teach your kid right from wrong and how to do things in the world, never be the bastard who doesn’t teach your kid a damn thing —and then blames your kid for not being able to get ahead, teach them how to fish, dont act like theri DISBLITY is gonna meek them unable to do hints even if they make mistakes teach them how to learn from it, operate on a baseline of trust and understanding knowing your kid has unique struggles that need to know somone is gonna be in their corner, teach them important stuff and trust your kid, trust their judgment and trust their capbabible and Abel to do things on their own. don’t underestimate them, respect your kids privacy and unique personality and interests. For example —-Give them a phone young, so when they get lost they can easily contact you and find their way back. Teach them who to call in a crisis, and who to go to at stores or in public places if he needs help, If your child is ausstic teach them, they dont have to do anything they don’t want to do, that their mental heath is the most important thing, and nothing is worth doing if its gonna end up causing them mental distress. An imporant lesson that will serve them well. 

Teach your kids what good freinds are, good freinds accept and love you as you are and dont make you feel like you need to mask and hide, and downplay or be ashamed of who you are. Teach them positive ways of managing theri emotions, say we all make mistakes and its ok if you aren’t a perfect freind all the time, the world expects too much from kids and you dont need to achieve greatness to be successful in teh real way, fulfilled in life. Teach your kid an important lesson if your being bullied, its ok to stand up for yourself, you just need to figure out what things are worth ignoring and what things you cannot allow to slide, you need to stand up for yourself, otherwise pepole are gonna think they can walk all over you, take advance and teh world is gonna try and take advantage of you, treat you like dirt, steal from you beat you and leave you with nothing, if somone throws the first punch, you need to learn how to punch back and twice as hard, so they know that your not somone who takes abuse lying down, and so they know not to do it again. Some pepole will blame you for it, but if your life is in danger or your physical safety, self defense is legal and its always ok, they will try to blame you and say your the same as your bully for standing up for yourself, dont ever listen to those pepole, kids can be mean, your not mean your a good person, and you never start no fights with nodbody you dont go looking to hurt pepoles feelings or dominate the other kids like those bullies of yours, Kiddo, dont let alone convince you that two wrongs dont make a right, its not wrong to save your own life. This is the mentality they use to keep pepole like Aunt Lucy, staying with awful men like Uncle Parker, who hit her and beat her and she doesn’t derive that, but becuase she learnt when she was a little girl, like you are, that pepole treating her in a way doesn’t matter who the person is, no one deserves to be treated like they ain’t even human, beaten, spit on, exuded freinds turned against her, constant insults and degradation she couldn’t escape, when she was a little olde then you a boy put a positions spider down her dress and EVRYONE laughed at her for throwing her dress off, leaving her in her underwear, —when she said he threw the spider and it was the little boy who stated it, the teacher blamed your Aunt Lucy made her apologize, for what a man did to her against her will, the pain he caused her she had to sallow and all the scars from all the men afterwards, so now she and the rest of the world believes that being brutally hurt and fighting that pain just to survive the night, are the same damn thing, well theri not. Listen to me, if somone ever puts hands on you, calls you names, or bullies you and your bueatful soul, and charchter without ever even getting to know you…you ain’t gonna be like your aunt Lucy, your gonna take that little shit by the shirt, and scratch him till he bleeds, then your gonna throw his head on the grownd and crush him till he screams, with your little desk till he begs for your forgiveness, Till he is growling, scared at your mercy and that’s how your gonna let everyone know, you dont fuck with me or I will destroy you, humiliate you or worse, and it will be your own fault for pushing me and fucking with me, and thinking you could get away with it becuase them teachers are stupid, —-Most imporant thing you’ll ever learn in life, is pepole dont stick their neck out for you, not even good freinds becuase were all one thread away from snapping, and dropping dead, you need to find pepole who will sopport you, and be there for you when its bad not just when its good, and freinds so good they ar more likley then anyone else to ride or die for you, and have no doubt your worth the sacrifice, and you’ll make those freinds one day. But in the meantime, your school teachers are full of shit, and stupid as hell, your principal is stupid they have power over your future, but you cant let that distract you, pepole are gonna beat you and punch you and gang up on you, trust me I went through teh same thing when I was your age, no one is coming to save you, if you try to hide and just put your head down a take it all your doing is showing the world I dont think im worthy to be defended, so You  gotta show  them, in the only lauage they understand im not the type of person you fuck with, im incredible and If you hurt me I will hurt you right back becuase unlike me, you actually desrve it, you need a wake up call you fuck with teh wrong person in the real world, your gonna get fucked, and you need to make it as painful and hit him where it hurts, hold nothing back if you dont get any sympathy why should he, if everyone’s gonna laugh when you get beat up, and chased and mocked every single day and no teachers defending you or trying to save you, if this be happening every day —-just one day you gotta teach that asshole that in the real world, No child of mine is gonna let assholes like that walk free, so break their legs. If you feel yourself getting angry and loosing control after you get bullied, find the bully and shoot this right in his eye (gives em pepper spray) Voleince is never the awnser but it sends a message in the only Lauge these beasts understand. You never hurt no one, your just fighting to servive if you dont fight back you might let yourself seem Vurbanable then they can convince you your worthless, you give them an In to kill you first and if they do that hell ill kill em myself and theri brain dead parrents. You desrve to be treated with respect, with love, kindness, care you desrve pepole to be gentle and kind with you, so you cant allow them to think they can treat you or any other kid who’s different —-you cant give up on yourself, I promise schoool sucks, it gets better but while your forced to be around this asshat, You need to teach him a lesson, not to fuck with good kids anymore, here(Gives him a pocket knife, his own pepper spray, EXTREEM mini gas bomb, and shows him a small pistol I planned to give him when he was older, but can teach him to shoot now —and I’ll teach him how to fight and about pressure points, in the backyard.

        “ I always loved your strong sense of justice, its time you started having it for yourself, not just other poor souls, I know you love yourself think about it like your best freind Zorie, if somone was treating her the way their treating you wouldn’t stand for it, not her she’s as sweet as sunshine, so if that’s the case, why are you letting them treat you that way? It’s the same, your your own best freind”

But I will say, Not EVRYONE can handle having children its good more pepole are realizing that and choosing not to have children and focus on their careers, love lives, finding a house, etc. Not everyone should have children (not in the Eugenics way some people say that, fuck that Nazi shit- if your mentally ill, or neurodivergent, or even intellectually/or severely physically disabled you should have the right to have children as much as anyone else, disabled people have been great parrents and truly because not everyone can afford kids, can handle the finical, and emotional responsibility of caretaking, not EVRYONE has their shit together enough to  That goes for anything, expect perhaps deadly conditions that will result in certain and swift death of the child—there’s never really a good reason to terminate a prgeency not because of a medical risk to the mother, witch weather its abortion or otherwise medically neccairy late stage pregnancy termination -but because parents dont want to have kids it related in tests and ultrasound that the baby will be born with a “poor quality of life” and terminating a pregnancy souly  because of your geneneticly LIKLEY to pass on certain disabilities, or mental heath conditions or the doctor tells you the child will be born (without a shadow of a doubt) with a disblility. Souly due to the parents believing their DISBLITY (not it being life threatening and like giving them 100 days to live witch truthfully 

of the presumed hardship and fears preempted of raising. no mental illness is fully genetic But terminating a child from pregnancy souly becuase their dislabed you dont think Dislabed lives are worth living, fuck you, that child deserved a chance at life, no kids are easy if you think they will be, your fooling yourself.

Overall there’s such a stigma around children with mental illness and austsim,  

PART TWO: